oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
