Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
