loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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