When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
