Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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