Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
