Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
