Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
