Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize