Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
