And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
