Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
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