Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
