So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
