Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
and she was petting her beer can
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
