I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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