Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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