But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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