Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize