stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
