she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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