Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The brown eye won't let me do that either.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.

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(806): View more from Texas

at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.

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(541): View more from Oregon

When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.

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(835): View more from Pennsylvania

The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving

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(712): View more from Iowa

Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision

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(410): View more from Maryland

Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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(650): View more from California

i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?

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