there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
