Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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