My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
