Sry I called you an 8
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize