Your dad touched me again.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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