I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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