New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
