I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There r osticjed everywhere
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
This is my gift to your gina
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
