my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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