i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
