no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
