i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
