I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dick very happy bro
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize