He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
