I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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