I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
