he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
