I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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