I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
