She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
