I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
