no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
and she was petting her beer can
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize