Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
bring money and cleavage
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
