I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
