Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
