I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
