mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
