In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize