Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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