only if we run a train.
done.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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