I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize