What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize