i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
