She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I am one with the molecules
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
