We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
