Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
