I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
