Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
