So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
the raccoons are back...
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