a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
