I should be sponsored by Trojan
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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