My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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