member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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