There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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