never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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