Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
