Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize